WHAT is relaxation?

Relaxing means "going back".
Going back where?
Inside, where we BELONG!
Ok, but what does that mean?


Almost all our waking lives our attention (and energy) is directed outwards. It goes out through our eyes, our mouths, our bodies (our senses) into the world around us. It is attracted to other people, sounds, advertising, media... all of which are competing for our attention, 24 hours a day...


So to relax means to break this cycle - literally, to regain control of our own attention, our own energy.


Try something:
Take a deep breath into the abdomen, and as you exhale, let go of any physical tension. Taking another deep breath, simply acknowledge what is happening with you right at this moment - physically, emotionally, and mentally... breathing deeply, letting go of tension, and observing how you feel. It's best to do this with the eyes closed.
Go ahead.


Doesn't that feel great?!
That is a 10 second relaxation. Now, imagine if you were doing that all the time, 24 hours a day - breathing deeply, letting go, observing. Imagine how good you'd feel, how much energy you'd have!


It's very simple isn't it? So why don't we actually do it?!


The reason why we don't stay relaxed is because:
a) we were never told the importance of it
b) we were taught that other things are important
c) the combination of a + b causes STRESS


I want to tell you something different: relaxation is the most important thing in the world. It is the foundation of all health, happiness and succes.


Stress is the opposite of relaxation. Quite literally, in biological terms, stress is the absence of relaxation, and relaxation is the absence of stress!
Our nervous system has two possibilities - either the sympathetic nervous system is dominant (stress), or the parasympathetic nervous system is dominant (relaxation).


The sympathetic nervous system reacts to perceived threat in the environment.
Let's say that a dog behaves aggressively towards you: your body will automatically react in several ways - your eyes dilate to enable faster reactions; your chin drops to protect your throat; adrenalin is released to enable more strength or speed, depending on whether you choose fight or flight; the heart rate goes up to bring more oxygen to the muscles; blood and energy flow is redirected from the organs to the muscles (center to periphery); and so on. All of this is very good - it helps us in difficult sitations, and without it, we would never have survived as a species!
The parasympathetic nervous system on the other hand UNDOES all that the sympathetic nervous system does - when the stress is over (the dog stops barking and goes home) your body needs to calm down. So the parasympathetic nervous system releases hormones to relax the body - releasing the adrenalin, calming the eyes, the heart, and so on.
So, the sympathetic nervous system is all about stress response, while the parasympathetic nervous system is all about normal, regular function.


So far, so good. But what happens when you live in a society where your body is always under stress? For example, what if you live in a city with lots of traffic; lots of people in a hurry; noise, air, food and water pollution creating toxins (stress) in the body; constant bombardment of the senses by media, advertising, etc?
I'll tell you what happens: the body is permanently in a state of stress. In other words, the sympathetic nervous system is always being stimulated.
This is the primary reason why so many people are so ill, depressed, and unhappy.


I'm not kidding! I lived in London for 14 years and I know from experience!
But let's be honest: it's not only city life that is to blame. It's really the speed of 21st century living - and that can affect anyone, even in the country.


What's the solution?


The solution is that we have to consciously relax. We have to take time to really come back to ourselves, allowing our body to slow down, and giving time to the systems in our body to balance each other.


This does NOT mean watching a movie; reading a book; listening to music; having a beer / glass of wine; going out with friends. All of these things, which we have been taught to associate with relaxation, are stimulating! They stimulate our senses. They don't really help us to relax in a deep, meaningful way.


For real relaxation, silence is needed. So that our hearing is allowed to relax, and the muscles of our throat, vocal chords, tongue, and mouth can relax.
Closing the eyes is needed, so that our mind can stop processing visual information (did you know that literally millions of bits of information are absorbed through the eyes every second? And that our brains have to process that information?!).
Lying on the back is the best position to relax in - and the best posture is the 'corpse pose', a yoga pose known to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system.
Breathing should be deep and slow.
And our mind should be directed inwards.


There is a practice called Yoga Nidra, many thousands of years old. Yoga Nidra means yogic sleep, or 'sleep of the yogis' - it is a state of awareness in which the body is so relaxed that it sleeps, but the mind is awake, fully conscious.


20 minutes in this state of being is equivalent to two hours of sleep. It's very simple to do. I'm going to tell you how...

YOGA NIDRA

• Lie on the back, with the arms and legs slightly apart, and the head in the middle (corpse pose).

First, tense all the muscles in the body, tensing them, and releasing them.
Then get comfortable.

• Close the eyes, and take a few deep, full breaths.
• Then focus the attention inwards... focusing your full attention into the toes. Mentally (silently) repeat: "I am relaxing my toes, my toes are relaxing, the toes are relaxed"

Repeat this phrase until you really feel the toes softening, and relaxing.

• Then shift your attention to your feet, repeating: "I am relaxing the feet, the feet are relaxing, the feet are relaxed..."

Continue this process, going through every part of the body in turn, until you get to the top of your head. 

• Then do the same for all the internal organs: brain, heart, lungs, stomach, intestines, and so on. The whole body can be done in 5 minutes. If you are a beginner, it will take longer.

• When you are finished, lie still for at least 3 minutes. Allow your body to be completely still, and simply observe your mind. As time passes, the mind sinks into a deeper and deeper state of relaxation. There comes a point when, with the body and mind deeply relaxed, we touch something inside ourselves very deeply. That is true relaxation.

---

With practice, we are able to be deeply relaxed all the time. When you can do that, you don't age so fast. You stay healthy. And perhaps most importantly, when you are in a stressful situation, you have more reserves of energy to call upon should you need them.


This is the secret of the ancient yogis, and why they are known for long life and miraculous acts.

5 common Myths to dispel About Meditation

“Meditation is the ultimate mobile device; you can use it anywhere, anytime, unobtrusively.” ― Sharon Salzberg

I’m sure you’ve heard at one point or another that you should meditate, right?

There is continually growing research revealing how helpful it is for our health and well-being.

But despite this knowledge, many people struggle to incorporate the habit of meditating into their life.

The problem is, many don’t realize what meditation really is, or they have a misconception about how to do it.

We assume that mediation is something for a spiritual master or yogi. It has an esoteric air that is off-putting and scary to many people.

If this is the case for you it’s time to rethink your concept of what meditation really is.

“Meditation is not a means to an end. It is both the means and the end.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

I completed a new certification in meditation from the Unity Temple here in Kansas City, and learned a couple of things that tend to hold people back from even trying to meditate, so I wanted to share them with you here.

It’s time you let go of these myths that are holding you back from your daily dose of peace.

Here are five common myths to overcome so you can start to meditate more confidently and consistently.

Myth #1: You have to sit with legs twisted like a pretzel

Sounds uncomfortable right?

I used to believe that I had to sit with my legs crossed, with perfect posture, not moving a muscle in order to meditate properly.

My legs would fall asleep and my lower back would ache. All I could do was think about how uncomfortable I was.

Meditation wasn’t very relaxing to say the least.

Guess what, you don’t have to sit in the traditional lotus position to meditate. You can sit in a chair with your feet on the ground. You can lean against a wall to support your back. You can meditate anywhere.

This isn’t cheating and no one will know anyway. Get comfortable and relaxed when you meditate.

Myth #2: You have to meditate for long periods of time

I used to think that I had to meditate for at least thirty minutes for it to be official. This was torture at first.

If someone is a novice mediator, having an expectation like this is going to completely discourage their practice.

What if you could meditate for even just five minutes and have benefits? Would that make it easier and more enjoyable?

Try finding a few moments throughout your day to sit with your breath for just five minutes at a time.

Stop torturing yourself. You don’t have to sit for an extended period to benefit from meditation.

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ― Jon Kabat-Zinn1

Myth #3: You’re supposed to stop thinking

I remember ready the Master Key System in my early twenties. One weekly lessons was to try to stop thinking. I remember trying this and feeling completely frustrated that I couldn’t meditate or I was doing something wrong.

I realize now the overall objective of this exercise, but when it comes to gaining the benefits of meditation it isn’t necessary to stop thinking.

Why? Because not thinking is basically impossible. The mind wanders and thinks, that is what it does. The important aspect is to learn not to fuse or attach to your thoughts.

Thoughts will come and go and always be there, but we don’t have to grasp on to them and get emotionally attached.

Let thoughts go when you notice them and come back to the present moment by following the rhythm and sensations of your breathing.

“Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts are just that – thoughts.” ― Allan Lokos

Myth #4: Your religion has something to do with it

Here in Kansas meditation can have a negative connotation.

It’s as if people assume they will go to hell if they meditate. (Getting familiar with contemplative prayer helps dispel this myth)

Meditation is not blasphemous. In fact it doesn’t have to relate to religion at all. I am not a Buddhist and I meditate.

When you meditate you don’t have to incorporate any spiritual or religious traditions what-so-ever if that is your preference.

Meditate for your health if nothing else, and then go to church later. I promise you won’t catch on fire or break out in hives.

I personally use meditation as a spiritual practice but don’t let this fixed idea that it has to do with religion deter you from exploring it as a tool for enhancing your well-being.

Myth #5: There is a right or wrong way to mediate

If you haven’t caught the drift of this post yet, there isn’t a right/wrong or good/bad way to mediate.

There are techniques and ideas to help direct your practice, but in the bigger picture letting go of the judgment about what you’re doing is one of the most important parts of meditating.

Stop judging yourself for not meditating properly. Stop beating yourself up for having a bad meditation session.

This is all a part of building your mental muscles. A non-judgmental attitude and compassionate heart are an outcome of sitting through “bad” meditation sessions.

Let yourself relax, let go of all the things on your schedule and just sit quietly for a few minutes.

Whala, you just meditated!

“In the end, just three things matter: How well we have lived, how well we have loved, how well we have learned to let go.” ― Jack Kornfield

The Secret to Happiness: Why Money Has Nothing to Do with It

“If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you’ll spend your life completely wasting your time. You’ll be doing things you don’t like doing in order to go on living, that is to go on doing thing you don’t like doing.” ~ Alan Watts

Isn’t it interesting how so many of us chase after money thinking that money will solve all our problems?

We want money because we believe that money will give us a sense of security, helping us get all the things we want, they will make us happy. But is that really true? Is money really the answer?

If you ask me, we got it all wrong.

Money does not equal happiness. Money won’t guarantee you long term happiness unless your money comes from doing the things you’re passionate about.

You can have all the money in the world but if you’re not passionate about your work and if you’re not at peace with yourself and the world around you, chances are that you won’t be happy no matter how much money you make.

It really ain`t about the money.

We don’t want money just for the sake of having them. We want money because we assume that money will give us the freedom to do all the things we want to do and that by doing these things we will achieve happiness.

Real happiness comes from creating work that matters. It comes from working with love and pouring that love into everything you do.

One of my all time favorite quotes on working with love comes from the book, The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, and it goes like this:

“Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy. For if you bake bread with indifference, you bake a bitter bread that feeds but half man’s hunger. And if you grudge the crushing of the grapes, your grudge distils a poison in the wine. And if you sing though as angels, and love not the singing, you muffle man’s ears to the voices of the day and the voices of the night.”

If you have no passion, if you don’t love your work and if there’s no meaning in what you do, you won’t find fulfillment, you won’t find happiness  No matter how much money you will spend and no matter how many luxurious and expensive things you will buy, you will not be at peace, you will not find joy. You might be happy for a little while but eventually you will go back to your initial state of being.

It really ain’t about the money.

You soul needs to express itself in powerful and creative ways. Your soul longs for purpose, it longs for meaning. Your soul wants to create beautiful, impactful and inspiring work, and it wants to share this work with the rest of the world. It doesn’t care about the money.

“A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be” ~ Abraham Harold Maslow

Your soul has creative power and it wants you to use this power to make your life a work of art and not to waste it on chasing after money. It has a lot more imagination that you would think.

“The reason we have poverty is that we have no imagination. There are a great many people accumulating what they think is vast wealth, but it’s only money… they don’t know how to enjoy it, because they have no imagination.” ~ Alan Watts

By focusing on doing the things you love to do and by working with passion and dedication, you will soon discover that money is a bi-product of what you love.

That’s all there is to know about money. It’s that simple, yet that complicated.

Money is not power and those who look at money from this perspective have no idea what real power is all about. Real power doesn’t come from outside of you, it doesn’t come from how much money you make and how many people you control with your money. Real power comes from within not without, and this kind of power can never be taken away from you, unless you yourself give up on it.

““Power over others is weakness disguised as strength.True power is within, and it is available to you now.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Never allow money to become more important than doing work that truly matters. Never allow money to become the reason of your existence.

Get back to yourself. Focus on the things you love. Listen when your soul speaks. Follow your heart. Give yourself permission to be “silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” ~ Rumi, and you will be happy.

Tulum Mexico

Secret Luxury Spots In The Bohemian Beach Paradise Of Tulum, Mexico

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My first impressions of Tulum, Mexico were not promising. The multiple police checkpoints en-route and the rough deep pot holes lining the dirt roads were enough to jar my senses in this coastal town 80 miles southeast of Cancun. So much has been written about this scruffy beach escape from the New York fashion bloggers that I was already prepared for the onslaught of mosquitoes, while living with limited electricity and communing with the jungle creatures and supermodels.

As my driver pulled off the weather worn roadway, a tall thatched structure loomed from the jungle trees, a tropical vision from the pages of Swiss Family Robinson. A mangrove jungle rising before the resort opening up to a sheer white limestone sandy beachfront fronting Soliman Bay revealing the refreshing Jashita Hotel. Outside the aroma of fresh flowers and fragrance woke me from my cranky stupor and I took a deep breath entering the open air lobby.  I was told with a smile that my room was upgraded to the Nefertiti Suite and my weary spirit was immediately lifted. You would be hard pressed not to immediately fall in love with this place as I entered the gorgeous lobby straight out of a design magazine and with margarita in hand quickly melted into the atmosphere.

Happy Hour at Jashita Hotel (photo credit Jim Dobson)

The understated but certainly luxurious boutique hotel is a far cry from what I had anticipated.  The owners, the Marchiorello family from Verona, Italy built the resort in 2010 after falling in love with the tranquil bay protected by a coral reef. Enrico Marchiorello’s handsome son Tommaso manages the hotel and is a frequent companion to the guests, whether it’s taking the private fishing boat out and cooking fresh fish or becoming a lifelong friend to many of the returning fans of the hotel.  His compassion towards making the guests feel at home contribute to the experience of modern luxury such as crisp linen sheets, flat screen televisions and perfect air conditioning. The Nefertiti Suite is just one of the beautiful rooms overlooking the water with massive terraces created for lounging on hammocks or viewing the spectacular jungle biosphere on one side or the glassy calm waters on the other. This is truly the most luxurious hotel in Tulum.

Tommaso Marchiorello, manager of Jashita Hotel (photo credit Jashita Hotel)

The Italians I come to discover are leaders of the pack of entrepreneurs who have created some of the best hotspots  in Tulum. Living La Dolce Vita from the wildly popular beachfront Hampton’s style Italian restaurant Posada Margherita owned by the charming and often shirtless Alessandro Carozzino to the former celebrity studded but now fading Coqui Coqui Hotel owned by Italian designer Francesca Bonato. (The thatched roof jungle suites and South Beach cool Be Tulum Hotel has now become the hottest hotel in the area with neighboring Casa Magna Hotel boasting the best intimate beach).

The beach at Casa Magna (photo credit Jim Dobson)

There are luxurious adventures and opportunities to be had if one only looks a little bit deeper behind the veil of yoga retreats and pricey boutiques.  I discovered things rarely mentioned in the press that discerning visitors would appreciate.  Options are numerous ranging from a romantic private dinner in the magnificent Dos Ojos cenoteor deep sea fishing at the fisherman’s village in Sian Ka’an. At the Yaan Wellness Energy Healing Spa located directly opposite the Be Tulum Hotel, owner Sebastian Sas and Dr. Bobby Klein have created what I consider one of the world’s best spas. My four hour luxury journey was something I will remember forever and at a price of over $700 something the average tourist will never experience.

Klein is an offbeat, graying former Southern California hippie who sprinkles his wisdom with four letter enthusiasm. Entering a space of peace and relaxation through energy transfer, I held a large crystal while he cradled by head and whispered Mayan channeling; emotional and psychological injuries were made clear and opened my heart to healing. My session with him was not only inspiring but allowed a window of thinking and hope for an amazing future to come. This is exactly what I needed for my week away from a high stress job in Hollywood.

Dr. Bobby Klein of the Yaan Wellness Center

I headed into a stilted hut where I was greeted by a hearty Mayan woman healer who performed an Energetic Limpia ceremony on my naked and worn out body. First, warm copal smoke was transferred across my body to cleanse my energy field, and then a shelled egg was rubbed over the surface of my body – to absorb disease and cleanse the physical being. With eyes covered during the entire experience, the smooth transition to an 80 minute four handed massage (where did she come from?) started with a deep abdominal massage centered on the dispersion of energy and realignment of organs proceeding to the whole body. I was stretched and put in vulnerable positions while enjoying the deep tissue massage, allowing my mind to be open to the ritual experience. I was so relaxed and comfortable that I was not at all concerned having my naked body placed into a copper bathtub where I was covered in hot water infused with Rue Basil, Rosemary and flowers.

Cesiak restaurant in Sian Ka’an (photo credit Jim Dobson)

My journey continued onwards to breathtaking Sian Ka’an, the natural biosphere reserve, which is still a secret in terms of luxury vacation.  It is surrounded by some of the most wild, beautiful nature (jaguars, boas, sea turtles) and home to exclusive, chic villas and real estate options. The villas of Sian Ka’an are often rented to celebrities and some of the wealthiest people in the world, where they like to hide in absolute bliss and privacy.  Pamela Anderson even had a villa here for many years unheralded by the media. The beautiful Lithuanian Raminta Lilaite who is with Riviera Maya Property Consultants arranges first class options for the rich and famous including VIP packages and new real estate villas for purchase. Ruta Uleviciute is a Partner in the company and is a former high-level jewelry consultant, who worked with Royal Jewelers and other top luxury brands in London, and moved to Tulum two years ago with her boyfriend, because they noticed the tendency of the wealthy to invest in luxury real estate.

Sian Ka’an biosphere and jungle (photo credit Jim Dobson)

I checked in for my Sian Ka’an lagoon adventure at the Cesiak beach front restaurant and met my private Mayan tribal guide Jorge, his multiple body adornments reflecting his hanging for hours from his chest piercings as a transition to manhood. I was taken by small boat through a 1.5 million acre protected Unesco World Heritage site, the largest protected area in the state of Quintana Roo.  Our boat navigated through the Caapechen Lagoon where black vultures circled overhead. A magnificent enormous Great Blue Heron also greets me; they are known to devour a baby crocodile in one fell swoop.  I was treated to an afternoon of floating down the river with nothing but the current carrying me through winding jungle foliage, fresh water makes it safe and will not harm the biosphere. My leisurely float was met with the shrill chirping of an alien creature in the banks of the lagoon. I was quietly informed it was a baby crocodile calling for its mother. That quickly ended my blissful journey in the water. Once safely in the boat we came upon the mother crocodile slowly raising her head above the water. We are truly strangers in this vast paradise.

With Mayan tour guide Jorge at our jungle lagoon trip

I am grateful for an amazing time in Tulum, my love for the area is now cemented firmly in my soul. Friendships were forged; from eccentric and gorgeous Derek Klein who owns the popular Gitano bar along with the charming Brit James Gardner, the vibrant and loveable Max De Zambiasi who built a stunning four story luxury villa available to rent on Soliman Bay, the warm and embracing Ana Martin Vila who manages the luxury Be Tulum Hoteland wealth manager Canon Price who guided me through a lot of hidden gems on my first visit.  Ciao Tulum, I will see you soon!

Canon Price (c) with Derek Klein (r), James Gardner and friends (photo credit Canon Price)